You tap the brake while I crack the window

Off work by 6:00pm. Time for car repair, then the gym, then hometeaching, then homework. That was what I had planned on.

I took Shelley’s car battery from the chassis and had it tested. It was fine, so I cleaned the electrodes and proceeded to position it back in the car. There is a crossbar with a square nut, and I needed to loosen to get the battery in place. I didn't have a wrench large enough, so I tried a pair of vice grips (Note that I’m too tired and pissed at the world to go up to my lab to get a proper wrench.)

Naturally, I couldn't place the grips flush with the nut because of the crossbar’s geometry, so I angled them the best I could and pulled…really, really hard.

It turns out that even when you’re angry, the laws of physics still apply. The grips flew off the nut and my left hand with them. My hand came to a stop but not before snagging a piece of sheet metal creating a 2.5" cut along the big muscle controlling my thumb. I looked down through the blood and noticed that I could see the muscle fibers.

"Band AIDS!!" Shelley yelled as she ran inside as I stood outside in shock that I did something so stupid. Then, out of nowhere, I got a, “DANGER WILL ROBINSON” vibe, and my whole body got tingly and cold. Also not good. I carefully walked into Shelley’s apartment and put my hand under some running water in the kitchen sink. (Note: I’m perfectly calm) My vision stared to tunnel, and I had trouble standing. “Knock it off body! I’m fine.” I sat down and put my feet on another chair. I breathed deeply so I don’t throw up. After consulting with my sister and her roommate, we decided I needed stitches and it was off to the emergency room…

Stay tuned for more adventures in Mike’s stupid life.