Monday, April 03, 2006

Threw away your greatest hits, you left them here the day you split.

UTAH it is.

After another set on interviews, I have no reason not to go there. Now, the only real thing drawing me to UT is nostalgia. Granted, nostalgia is great, but it’s not something on which to base ones life decisions. (But maybe it should be. I haven’t made an irrational decision in almost 12 hours, seriously).

How should I word my rejection? I figure it would polite to tell my contact at UT personally. I do feel bad that I can't take him up on any of the UT offers. I could do it in letter or spoken form:
"Dear Professor Guy/Dude/Object/Paramecium,

1. I regret to inform you that I have accepted another offer that offers more opportunities and more money.
2. I have accepted another offer.
3. I decided to join the circus and realized I have no use for an advanced degree.
4. You suck, so no thanks.
5. I greatly appreciate your efforts to bring me to your school, but you forget that I’m a cheap, lazy bastard. Better luck next time.
6. I had a dream and this green mushroom threatened to eat me if I moved from Utah. I don't want to get eaten, so I must decline your offer.
7. I could never associate myself with the vile booze industry. Do you see my nose pointed towards the heavens? That means I'm way to pure for the likes of your silly oraganization; I don't care if the ethanol will be used as fuel. 'Avoid the appearance of evil' remember? I guess not. Seeing that you place yourself within 5 miles of an alcoholic beverage, I can only conclude that you are a diry whoremonger. FOR SHAME.

(That last one only applies to the Forest Products offer.)

So I’m going to solicit comments for a change. The four of you who read my posts, please vote/make other suggestions.

6 comments:

Claire said...

I get to be the first! I'd go with the green mushroom one and call him a Paramecium. I think that would be the way to burn no bridges.

I'm glad you are staying in Utah! That means I get to see you on a close to never basis instead of never. Yay!

Um, you've made an irrational decision? ever?

B.G. Christensen said...

My first vote is for #2. #6 is a close second.

yaj000 said...

I would give it to them straight, and so I would select 1. That way maybe UT will up their offer and stuff, and maybe even buy you a Porche to get you to come to UT.

Utah was a good choice from non-academic aspects too. I am going to miss Utah myself.

Cinderella said...

Do you even need to ask? 0:)

emily said...

Hmm, it appears that you have more than four readers. As for my vote, it's a toss-up between 3 and 6.

Tolkien Boy said...

Seven, naturally. In any list of English options, the longest is generally the most effective. It's called Dicken's law.