Don't want a hippe chick, or a disco queen, just want the girl, from a na-nineteen eighty-three

The Annual Fremont Solstice Parade...let me tell you…boy-oh-boy...

I saw it coming, but nothing really prepares you for fifty nude cyclists riding around the block for 45 minutes on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Painted head to toe, not painted at all, young, old, tall, long, short, skinny, fat, A, DD, and everything in between. George Bush, The Pope, tree spirits, a guy that looked like he came from a Chemical Brothers video, Napoleon, a tiger, a cowboy, Spiderman, all kinds of stuff.

Yes, naked people are gross; I now have knowledge of this fact. However, from another perspective, the event was completely harmless and non-sexual. Families brought their kids (ages 1-15). We all sat around and cheered the crowds; many signed socially progressive petitions. Fun for all breeds, shapes, and attired. A dozen floats, dancing East-Indians, forest spirits, fertility gods, and “Beat the (George) Bush,” a ten foot president and a six-foot spinnable wheel with pictures of all kinds of nasty fates and their accompanying articles of destruction (the three-foot boot on a pole was my favorite).

The fair had a relaxed aura to it. No commercialization, no electric motors, no text. MSU really likes the environment. “Americans are too uptight about everything.Their religious “morals” often miss the point. They paint such a dark picture of human nature.” I had to agree.

Today, I decided that hippie chicks are not for me, not by a long shot. I should have talked to a few of them, but I wasn’t in the mood. For me, the general vibe of the event was good enough. Down in the park, a guy sang while playing an accordion. At the front of the dancing, thirty-person crowd was a girl, my age, topless, and painted red and white, head to toe.

“She’s cute.”
"....”
“Don’t you think she’s cute?”
“Mehhhhhh…I don’t’ feel any kind of attraction.”
“Well, yeah but look at her. There’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing. She’s not hurting anyone. She's just enjoying life.”

Such comments seemed to be the theme of the festival, and yes, I agree with the last part of MSU’s statement.

Returning to my previous point, today I learned, officially, that I like clothing. I like brassieres. I think razors are good, and I prefer that people exercise and be a little worldly. I admire many things in what I perceive as the hippie mentality. However, I definitely did not feel “at home” today. It’s very possible that “my people” may yet be found somewhere in this city, but Fremont is not that place.

Next Sunday is the gay pride parade. Maybe I’ll find my Missing Piece there. :)

New Wave Girl - Nerf Herder