People are strange, when you're a stranger

Friday night, I get this funny text message. I thought it might be a friend playing a trick. I didn’t make much sense, and I was right.

Hey I think your hot wanna hang
I would, but I’m only attracted to men. It tends to make things kind of awkward.
Um im a man your in luck
Well, I’m glad my “hot” is the object of your thoughts. You know where to find me if you want to learn more about it.
Yes, yes I do
I dunno
That’s what I like about you, your impeccable orthographic prowess completely removes all ambiguity from your messages.
Um…what
Precisely
Wat…
U for real
You engrish no good. Me not understand what you want or who you is
What? Why is it hard to understand
You know, punctuation, homonyms, identification. The things that make messages legible.
Why are you talking bout that
Nothing apparently.Goodnight (Note: I thought she said. “What are you talking about?”)

The next day
Hey Sexy
No response from me

Later that night
So you and Keera huh
I hope you understand that I still don’t know who you are. I think you’re texting the wrong person.
Your names zac right. Ya I know you
No, my name’s Mike. I’m a 24 year old student. Please stop texting me.
No dont even play

Yes Mr. Morrison, I think you were on to something.